If I text you back fast its not because Im thirsty its because my phone was in my hand at the time. The waiting to text people back on purpose shit is childish
but you are an entire universe and i am a bigger cooler universe where everyone skateboards
i’m gonna be a lesbian ghost for halloween
fuck you this is golden
i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying
"oh no my potato"
"Luckily I have an ace up my sleeve!" I smirk and roll my sleeve up. A confused asexual rolls out, blinking in the sudden light.